Where Does Your Style Come From?

My work sits at a slightly unusual intersection: psychotherapy and fashion styling.

At first glance, those might sound like two completely different worlds. One involves feelings, relationships, identity, and the complicated experience of being human. The other involves clothes.

But the more I’ve worked in both spaces, the more obvious the connection has become.

Getting dressed is human behavior.

And my background in mental health has taught me to get very curious about human behavior – including important existential questions like: Why did Crocs come back?

In social work, we often look at people through a person-in-environment lens. In other words, we are constantly influencing, and being influenced by, the world around us.

Who we are is shaped by our relationships, cultures, communities, identities, resources, experiences, environments, bodies, and countless other factors.

So naturally, those things show up in our closets too.

Welcome to what I lovingly refer to as style science (I am a nerd).

The Style Formula

There probably isn’t one mathematical equation that can explain why you bought the jacket you’re currently obsessed with.

But there are a number of forces influencing what we reach for when we get dressed.

1. Where We Live

Our physical environment affects what makes sense to wear.

There is a reason Timberland boots became so closely associated with New York style: they are durable, practical, and built for weather and walking.

Someone living through a Northeast winter has very different clothing needs than someone living in Southern California.

Temperature, rain, transportation, neighborhood, work environment…where we spend our days shapes our personal style.

2. Access + Resources

Money absolutely influences style, but personal style is not the same thing as how much money someone spends.

Our budgets affect where we shop, how frequently we buy clothing, what brands are accessible to us, whether we thrift, borrow, swap, repair, repeat outfits, or invest in certain pieces.

Time matters too.

So does access to stores, sizing, tailoring, transportation, online shopping, and clothing that works for our bodies or sensory needs.

Getting dressed is something almost all of us have to do every day, but we do not all have the same options available to us.

3. Culture + Community

Style is deeply social.

What we wear can reflect our cultural heritage, family traditions, religion, music, neighborhood, generation, profession, friend groups, subcultures, and the communities where we feel most ourselves.

It is why fashion can communicate belonging before anyone says a word.

It is also why style constantly evolves.

4. Our Bodies

We each move through the world in a body that has its own shape, abilities, sensitivities, comfort preferences, and needs.

Those things naturally affect the clothes we choose.

But I think this distinction is important:

Our bodies do not need to earn the right to wear certain clothes.

Style does not have to be about correcting, minimizing, hiding, or “flattering” ourselves into looking like someone else.

Clothes can instead become a way of asking:

What feels good on my body?

What helps me move through my day?

What makes me feel like myself?

5. Our Experiences

Our experiences also shape our relationship with clothing.

Maybe certain clothes make you feel protected, powerful, comfortable, nostalgic, professional, playful, invisible, noticeable – or some very specific emotion you cannot quite put into words.

Those associations become part of our personal style story, with our clothing holding memories.

6. Identity

And then there is identity.

Clothes give us one way to experiment with the question:

Who am I?

Sometimes we dress to express an identity we already know.

Sometimes we dress to try one on.

Teenagers do this. Adults do this. All of us do this.

A haircut, a pair of boots, a suit, a dress, a vintage T-shirt, a dramatic coat– sometimes an external change gives us permission to explore something internally.

This is one of the reasons I find fashion so psychologically interesting.

Style can be both a reflection of identity and a tool for discovering it.

Clothing is Communication

As a therapist, one of the things I have learned is that behavior is a form of communication

Clothing is too.

It can communicate culture, mood, belonging, rebellion, creativity, profession, gender expression, comfort, practicality, and aspiration.

While our environment, experiences, identities, and bodies influence us, they do not completely explain us.

There is still something wonderfully individual about personal style.

The inexplicable part.

And maybe that is where style becomes most interesting.

It is the space between everything that has shaped us and everything we are still becoming.

So may you have the freedom to wear what feels like you.